September, the Miracle Month for our Miracle FAMILY

1st September. Time to change the Calendar Page. 

My Goodness!!! Look at the birthdays in the Month!  

We are 34 members in the family of  'Chinkura' (Chinchore, Kulkarni and Ranade), including our father, Prabhakar and mother, Kamal. 

And out of 34, as many as eight persons chose to get born in this month!! 

On 1^st September, both Ruta and Shruti got to this planet; while on 5^th September, Arun and Anita jumped in the bandwagon.  September was also the month of choice for Ulka, Sushrut, Sharvari and Neha.  

Is it an accident? By law of probability, maximum 3 out of 34 should have been born in any month. 8 is quite a large number, isn't it?

This is not all.

In our family of mere 34, in addition to Ruta and Shruti,  Balasaheb and his fond grand- daughter Poorva, and Girish and Supriya also share the same date of birth.  And additionally, Girish and Supriya got born not only on the same day, but in the same month and year. Anand-Aaditi got married on the day when Arun and Rajani were celebrating their wedding anniversary.

We are indeed a Miracle Family!!

Entering the Golden Jubilee of Enjoying Together!!

It was on 26^th June 1963 when I and Rajani tied the knot that is called Marriage.  So, today, we are celebrating the completion of 49 years and entering that Golden Year!! With all my hair turning, in the meanwhile,  from jet black to sporadic grey to eventually hundred percent silver.  Rajani, fortunately, still maintains her Mane black, but don’t draw any conclusions from this.  This is all due to her genes, which she has inherited from her mother.

Completing 49 years of married life and entering into fifties is really no achievement.  If both of you can leave for these many years, and do not get a divorce in between, it is automatic.  

Live we did for the last so many years is obvious.

But, why did we not even think of filing for a divorce anytime?

Look at our journey of these years.

The first five years are blissful.  You can go on looking into each other’s’ eyes (glasses or no glasses) and never get tired.  The next five or ten years, generally, are when the children arrive on the scene.  She changes the priorities.  You and your eyes lose their value; the little ones and their diapers are more important.  It is at this stage, you have to understand your place in the game.  You should not fight.  Rather, you should spend as much time as possible outside the home.  Keep enough money in the bank, replenish it regularly and sign on the dotted lines on the cheques – that is all you are expected to do.  This keeps the marriage safe, relatively peaceful, virtually happy and absolutely divorce-free.

The next ten years, follow the same routine; but reduce your expectations.  Hot tea not very hot, cold coffee still somewhat warm, children spending lot of time playing games instead of studying, the neighbour making lot of noise, …take everything in stride and smile away. Mum is the most important word. Looking like a fool is always wise in the long run.

Children are growing.  By now they know who the boss in the house is.  Earning bread is not enough.  You are expected to run and get the butter; then pizza.  Then Bike.  Then Blackberry.  Run, Henry, run.

Time flies.  Children marry.  And the grandchildren arrive.

Priorities change for both of you 360 degrees.  You don’t need each other.  You have found new exciting toys.  And the toys entertain you no end.

And suddenly it is 49 years.  You awake with a start.  Realize that you both are still there. 

You look into each other’s’ tired eyes after a very, very long time.  For a very, very long time.

And realize, damn it, it was not all that automatic.

The first five years were there during all these fifty years.

Thanks, Rajani!!

June 26, 2012

HAPPY 28,000th BIRTHDAY Arun!

In the wee hours of the dawn of today, even before the birds and bees had woken up and rubbed their eyes, my mobile made a shrill noise.  “Who is it?” I asked, mixing shrill and irritation in equal proportions.

“Happy Birthday, Arun Kulkarni”, the voice replied, mixing the synthetic Ho!Ho! with shrill in unequal proportions.

“Sorry, wrong Arun Kulkarni”, I was about to throw the mobile away.

“Wait, wait, Arun Kulkarni!  You are the Correct Arun Kulkarni.  You are celebrating tomorrow, that is on 3^rd May 2012, your 28,000^th birthday. Having completed 27,999 days of existence on this planet earth, you are entering a glorious 28,000^th day, tomorrow!!  Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Who are you? And how did you find it?”

“I am your student, Sir, TeerthPrasad Satyanarayanam!  You taught me Excel, you remember?  I am now in India’s most popular channel, Radio Chamcha.   Can you give us an interview, please, by way of celebrating this auspicious moment?  It will be relayed on your 28,000^th birthday, tomorrow.”

Who can say no to this?

I threw some water on my face, and told him: “Shoot!”

“How do you feel, when you realize that it is your 28,000^th birthday?”

“Well, I am forever oscillating between 28,000 leagues under the sea and 28,000 feet up in the sky. It is a huge Giant’s Wheel, this Life!”  I philosophized.

“Are you scared?”

“I am always scared of the immigration officer at the airport. Anytime, she may smile and tell me, ‘your visa has expired’”

.

“But, 28,000 days is a long way to travel.  Do you attribute it to any particular event or a person?”

“Yes, it is entirely due to an advice of my close friend, Balkya Akolkar, in 1960”

“Really?  Do tell us more about it.  Our listeners will be thrilled to listen to this story.”

 He appeared to be getting at last his proverbial byte.  I did not want to disappoint him.

“Well, in those days, I was courting a beautiful girl, a real heart throb, and had decided to tie with her the auspicious knot. Came Balkya, who made some investigations and told me, in a plain, simple language: 'Epya, don’t ever try to kiss an XXX of a camel.  Any Ph. D. thesis is much more romantic. Developing an Econometrics model is far more exciting than spending your honeymoon with this model, even if it is in Switzerland. If you are so desperate, I will gladly help you committing suicide by a more orthodox way than marring her.'”

“So, what happened?”

“Well, I believed in Balkya much more than the girl of recent acquaintance.  I said no to her.  And now I realize what a great wise man Balkya proved to be. Had I married her, my heart would have permanently stopped throbbing long back.  So I dedicate all these 28,000 minus Z days to Balkya”.   

 I spoke grandly, but avoided the temptation to ask him calculate the value of Z.

“Great!! And, now, the last Question.  How are you going to celebrate tomorrow?”

“Well, I have been watching this Sun Shining for the last 28 K times.  Should I perform a  28^th सहस्र-सूर्य-दर्शनम ceremony tomorrow? I must ask my Priest.  Another idea is to go to Microsoft Excel and find out, as on today, the age in days, hours and minutes of Rajani, Abhay, Anand,  Anju, Aaditi, Archis, Aryan, Krish, and all my brothers, sisters, their spouses, their children – the entire Kulkarni clan, and the Joshi clan, and the Chinchore clan, and the Ranade clan and other relatives, my friends, and politicians, and students like you, and your relatives, …..…

"Wow, this is a Super Idea…  I can go on with this activity, ever and forever… and cheerfully bombard all of you with up-to-second information on your anniversaries of birthdays, wedding days, engagement days, …

"Blast the Oscillations of Life and Go to Heaven, young lady at the Immigration Counter, with this kind of an Excel-ent activity, I can easily reach my 50,000^th Birthday!”

Did I hear a very loud crash on the other end of the phone line?

No matter! Even if you don’t get to listen to my interview on the Radio Chamcha tomorrow, you know what Day is tomorrow and who is celebrating it for what!!

You are welcome to visit me with any appropriate birthday gift, any time, any day!  Each Day, for me, is my Birthday!!!

2^nd May 2012

Getting Hooked!

How long is the duration between

14th January 1963 (our Engagement Day)

and Today?

Open MS Excel. It will tell you:

49 Years! "You are Entering the Golden Year!!!"

588 Months! "Already crossed 500!!!"

17897 Days! "Just 3 days short of 18,000 mark!!!"

Open My Cute Little Micro Micro Soft Memory Chip.  It will tell you:

All Calculations Wrong!!! "Its only One Day!!!!"

Thank you, my dear Rajani,

For letting me Feel, 

Every Day,

That it Happened 

Only Yesterday!!!!

Arun 

14th January 2012