Entering the Golden Jubilee of Enjoying Together!!

It was on 26^th June 1963 when I and Rajani tied the knot that is called Marriage.  So, today, we are celebrating the completion of 49 years and entering that Golden Year!! With all my hair turning, in the meanwhile,  from jet black to sporadic grey to eventually hundred percent silver.  Rajani, fortunately, still maintains her Mane black, but don’t draw any conclusions from this.  This is all due to her genes, which she has inherited from her mother.

Completing 49 years of married life and entering into fifties is really no achievement.  If both of you can leave for these many years, and do not get a divorce in between, it is automatic.  

Live we did for the last so many years is obvious.

But, why did we not even think of filing for a divorce anytime?

Look at our journey of these years.

The first five years are blissful.  You can go on looking into each other’s’ eyes (glasses or no glasses) and never get tired.  The next five or ten years, generally, are when the children arrive on the scene.  She changes the priorities.  You and your eyes lose their value; the little ones and their diapers are more important.  It is at this stage, you have to understand your place in the game.  You should not fight.  Rather, you should spend as much time as possible outside the home.  Keep enough money in the bank, replenish it regularly and sign on the dotted lines on the cheques – that is all you are expected to do.  This keeps the marriage safe, relatively peaceful, virtually happy and absolutely divorce-free.

The next ten years, follow the same routine; but reduce your expectations.  Hot tea not very hot, cold coffee still somewhat warm, children spending lot of time playing games instead of studying, the neighbour making lot of noise, …take everything in stride and smile away. Mum is the most important word. Looking like a fool is always wise in the long run.

Children are growing.  By now they know who the boss in the house is.  Earning bread is not enough.  You are expected to run and get the butter; then pizza.  Then Bike.  Then Blackberry.  Run, Henry, run.

Time flies.  Children marry.  And the grandchildren arrive.

Priorities change for both of you 360 degrees.  You don’t need each other.  You have found new exciting toys.  And the toys entertain you no end.

And suddenly it is 49 years.  You awake with a start.  Realize that you both are still there. 

You look into each other’s’ tired eyes after a very, very long time.  For a very, very long time.

And realize, damn it, it was not all that automatic.

The first five years were there during all these fifty years.

Thanks, Rajani!!

June 26, 2012